Happiness
by Nozomi Kurihara
Summary: How fortunate of me! We love each other, I have a nice friend... But...


- Wc Donald's Staff Room –

"Selphie, look!" Zell said as he showed me two tickets to the movie of 'The Down'.

"Wow! That's the movie I wanted to see! Ooh I'm jealous of you!" I pouted.

"Oh yeah? I just snatched this from the manager just awhile ago," and he winked, "Wanna go with me?" he asked.

_Zell Dincht from my part time job_

_2 months now for my unrequited love to him_

"Eh?" I enlarged my eyes, "Is it okay!? With me?!" I said loudly as he handed me one of the tickets.

"Yeah. That's the reason I snatched it." Zell said as he smiled at me.

_That's the reason………………...?_

_Is that…………….._

"**I'LL GO! LET ME GO! LET'S GO!**" I think I blushed a little with the loud voice of mine. Zell just smiled, but a little bit troubled with my loud voice. I was so embarrassed.

_Does that mean that he wanted to go with me?_

_Will he care if I think like that?_

_Can I reach to a wonderful relationship?_

_I want to obtain it_

_But I'm not confident enough_

_Going up…_

_Going down…_

_Repetition… Repetition… _

* * *

- School Grounds –

"Voila!" I presented the tickets, "Look! Look!" I said loudly as I was excited and proud.

"Oh that's great! You did it, Selphie!" Quistis clapped for me and smiled, "What will you do? This is your first date."

"Yeah———— I'm very nervous now—"and we stopped walking and sat in a bench.

"Hey, hey, how'd he ask you out?"

"Eh— I'm so— shy! Just normally— nothing special—", I placed my palms in my cheeks.

"Wanna go with me? He said so I just said Is it okay? And he answered that's the reason… **HEY QUISTIS! WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT!?**" I said as I grabbed Quistis' shoulders.

"Huh? Wh-What…?" Quistis was a bit surprised.

"Does he have a feeling for me…? Is it alright for me to think that he wants to watch with me?" my face softened as if I have a world of my own and Quistis seemed surprised in a way at me.

"Why? Is there something that says that you shouldn't think like that?" she asked.

"Mmm—… Well I'm still uneasy about it… I ain't specially cute or something… I ain't even so girly to blind the boys, either. Oh man, if I was just pretty like Quistis…" I sighed as I gazed up the sky.

"Ahaha, why me—?" Quistis laughed.

"Well—If I am like you, then I can quickly acquire the feelings of the person I like—Boys like pretty girls" I said, but I didn't notice that Quistis was a little bit bothered with the words I said.

"…….. giggles What are you saying? Never mind about those things! You can do it! I know it!" Quistis said with a weak smile.

"Eh… Really?"

"Selphie, you are cheerful and obedient, you've got the charm! Believe it! I'm gonna assure you!" Quistis said cheerfully.

"**REALLY?**"

"Yep! That's why be confident and do your best!" Quistis said with somewhat a forced smile, "Oh Let's get going We still have a class, right?" she said as she stretched her arms high above the sky.

"Oh yeah, is it that time already?" I said as I checked the clock in my cellphone, "Mm! I'll do my best!"

"Yeah, yeah, that's it!" Quistis clapped but then, she looked so sad and deserted in some way.

"Quistis! 1 minute to go!!!!" and we started to run to classes.  
'What? Oh man!"

_When I am sad, Quistis is the only one who cheers me up and tells me to go_

_A mature one and very responsible person, I look up to_

_My precious friend_

* * *

- Downtown –

"……………" I looked at myself, "Hmm… I should've worn pants instead of a skirt… It's like I'm so excited… Well, I'm excited, though…"

"Oh! You're early, Seplhie!" Zell smiled.

"!!" I was surprised that I freezed for a moment.

"Oh! You're wearing a skirt? I'm surprised.

"W-Well, I-I…. I… didn't mean to be…. **IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT I'M EXCITED**…."

"……………………….." We both fell silent at that moment, but it was too late when I realized my mistake.

"Hahahahahahaha, simple-minded girl, aren't you? You're excited eh? And you're too loud…" Zell laughed.

"H-Hey!!! Zell!! What are you laughing at— I-I ain't excited!" I'm so embarrassed.

Zell smiled, a sweet smile, "It's okay to be excited. Honestly, I'm kinda excited, too."

_He's excited, too, like me…_

"Hey Let's go now!" he yelled since I was still standing in the waiting place.

"Uh, yeah." I went after him.

_Does that mean that he feels same as me?_

_I can't even ask his true feelings_

_Today, I will know_

"The movie was fun, eh?" Zell said.

"The heroine was kinda handsome and cool."

"Yeah, he was cool; he got lots of script to do. You know, I'm kinda happy… that you like these gross movies, I thought I was the only one who liked it," He smiled.

"**Ah— I know that feeling! There's no one right? They think I'm weird. I'm also happy**." I smiled, and Zell stared at me, and like the look on his face was… you know…

I looked back at him when he blushed and chuckled, "What? Why? Why are you laughing? Did I say something funny again?!" I blushed that I might have said something funny again.

"No… I just noticed that when you're happy, you're voice gets louder…"

"**EH!? WAS MY VOICE THAT LOUD AGAIN**!?"

I held my cheeks and said, "Ooh I'm sorry, it's embarrassing, right? My friends also tell me that—"

"Why're you saying sorry? Who cares? I think it's much nicer if you know how to express you're joy. I think I love it," when he said that, I couldn't be forced not to stare at him, he seemed very cool at this moment.

"………………………………………….. H-hey!" Zell looked back, "What do you mean?" I asked, then Zell's face turned red… "Ah— Yeah… Hmm… _Ore wa Selphie ga suki'te, so—yu— imi_. (I like Selphie, that's the meaning)" he said as he scratched his head, and with his face very red.

My face turned red, too, "_Watashi mo Zell ga sukinandakedo_ (I love also love you Zell, so)" I said and he caressed my head.

"Then let's go out (_Jaa, tsukiatteyo_)"

"Sure"

* * *

- My Room –

_The feeling of his hands, when he caressed me… It never fades…_

_This night, I was so excited and nervous in a way, that I couldn't sleep a bit_

_It's different from unrequited love and I am so content and in cloud nine…_

_I am so **FORTUNATE**_

* * *

- Classroom –

"_Ohayo_ (Good morning) Sorry, Selphie, I'm late again—……………..?" Quistis looked at me when she noticed that my smile reached my ear and was at a no-one-can-ruin-my-day state.

"Never mind, it's okay. No big deal. No problem. No one can ruin my day. Ahahahahahaha…." I laughed like some mad man.

"… Uh, what's you're problem, girl?" Quistis stared, "Ah! I know, something cool happened yesterday, right—?"

Quistis stared at me with a shock… "Oh, there was something cool… And you want me to listen right?"

"**HE SAID HE'LL GO OUT WITH ME**"

"Oh that's nice… Clap clap clap…" Quistis made a fun of me… I think she noticed that the aura around us was very flowery… If you know what I mean…

* * *

- Cafeteria –

"Yay! You did it, Selphie! Now, you're an official Girlfriend! Yay!" Quistis exclaimed.

"Yeah I couldn't sleep well yesterday, you know— I thought what if it was only a dream! And none of the lessons was inputted in my head… Whoo-hoo! I still can't imagine!! Ooh I can't stop my excitement!!!" I started to jump around.

"That's a very fortunate problem you have." Quistis said.

"Really! So much! It's very nice to go out with someone and to feel the same— I'm getting so confident in myself…" I said as I sat down again.

"Y-Yeah…" Quistis had a dark look.

"…. S-Selphie, I-I… I have something to…" Quistis was interrupted…

"Ah! I know! Why don't we go shopping to the mall? Boys do like those girlish shirts, right? You're amazing in choosing those fashions, so, let's go, right?" I smiled.

"…………………… Uh, okay……" Quistis looked at me with some kind of disgust but I really didn't notice it… She looked awfully bad

"Hey, Selphie… You're boyfriend… Zell, was it? Next time please introduce him to me… I want to see him." She had this wicked smile… But I didn't notice it… How dumb of me…

"Ah… Yeah— I also want him to know you— Okay, next time, come to Wc Donald's okay?

"… Isn't he around, today?" Quistis smiled, "I want to see him— like, today."

* * *

- Wc Donald's –

"Welcome to Wc Dona— uh… it's you, Selphie, hm? I thought today was your day-off?" Zell said.

"Yep, but today, I am a customer, I brought a friend of mine from the University" I smiled at him, "Quistis Trepe"

"Hi." Quistis smiled.

"Ah! The friend you were talking about!" Zell said, "Zell Dincht here, nice to meet you."

"Sit at the table at the corner; I'll serve you some Ice Teas."

"Sure, thanks!"

We went to sit at the corner, while Quistis is looking around…

"He's cool," she said, as she sat in front of me, "He's handsome, too and looks kind."

"**REALLY?**"

"Yep. I think he's good." Quistis smiled.

"**Ooh thanks!**"

I was so happy, and Quistis smiled at me also.

"Here you go," Zell said as he served us the tea, "This is a service from me so it's a secret between us, okay?"

"**Yay! Thanks!**"

I smiled at Zell and Zell smiled at me… While Quistis remained silent and sipped her tea…

I went to the comfort room, while Quistis was left behind at the table and Zell came to clear the table, "Hm? Where's Selphie?"

"Went into the powder room."

"Oh… Hey, I'll clean this up okay?"

"Yeah, sure, thanks." Quistis smiled, "Hey, Zell…"

"Hm?" Zell turned back.

"What made you fall in love to Selphie?" Quistis asked as she crossed her legs.

"**HUH!? **W-What are you asking suddenly!?" Zell blushed.

"Of course, I am a friend of hers; a little interest wouldn't hurt, will it?"

"W-Where… did I fall in love…? Hmm… Simple-mided… no… something like slow and… she's very honest with her expression and it's something like that!" Zell blushed more.

"You think cute of her. 'I need to be with her, I need to be responsible' you're thinking like that, aren't you?" Quistis gave him a hard look. Zell was stunned.

"………….."

"And it will end that those naïve people will have the most fortunate relationship." Quistis sighed…

"……….. Do you have some problem bothering you?" Zell asked.

"Will you listen to me? Secret to Selphie…" Quistis gave a fixed stare and Zell fell silent, puzzled in what was happening, "… Just kidding," Quistis smiled and stood up, "See ya, it's almost my part-time job."

* * *

- School Grounds –

"W-Wait… Please don't say that… Hey… Hello? Hello!?........" Quistis was talking with somebody using her cellphone, and closed it when I found her, "Quistis?"

"S-Selphie… You were here…" Quistis looked at me and we started walking to class.

"Yesterday, you were gone all of a sudden so I was very surprised!"

"Ah— yeah, sorry…"

"So, how was Zell then?"

"………… He's kinda nice…"

"Really!?" I exclaimed and was in a very happy mood despite of Quistis' dark aura, "He said, you can always go there."

"Really? I'm glad—" Quistis said with some dark face, "Then, can I go even I'm not with you, right?" she smiled suddenly.

"Huh….?" I was surprised and didn't know what to say… some other things came up in my mind…

_Was that something nasty she said?_

"Ah…. Yep, that's okay with me…" I said with a little bit of suspicion.

"That's good" she smiled, "Of course, you're a [girlfriend] of him, right? Then, nothing should be uncertain for you…"

_What's that…._

_What do you mean….?_

_……………………………….._

_Or…. Am I thinking too much…?_

_She's my friend…._

_She's my best friend…._

_I-I shouldn't be uncertain with her…_

_No…. I shouldn't_

* * *

- Classroom –

_I shouldn't doubt…_

_I'm thinking too much…_

I looked around the room, and looked for Quistis… Our eyes matched, and she waved at me, with a smile… But I didn't speak for a moment until I reached our seat…

"_Ohayo_ (Good morning)" Quistis smiled.

"… _O-Ohayo_…"

"It's unusual for you to be late!" Quistis giggled.

"Ah— I overslept… Ahehehehe…."

_Nah She's normal than I thought…_

_Hmm… Maybe, there was no deep meaning about what she said yesterday…_

_Yeah, of course… because she's my…._

* * *

- School Grounds -

"By the way, yesterday, did you know, I saw Zell at the station. I didn't know he was around our district." Quistis smiled.

_I and Quistis have been friends for years now…_

* * *

- Cafeteria –

"Zell text me yesterday and said that he'll buy me a cake," she smiled again.

_She was always on my side, helping me… Guiding me…_

* * *

- Downtown –

"I didn't know that Zell liked sweet foods! I think I'll make him something to repay the cake he bought for me," she giggled.

_You were always there for me… _

_Stop it…_

_I don't want to think badly of you…_

_I'll believe you… So please…_

* * *

- Wc Donald's –

I looked so dumb staring at the ceiling and Zell noticed that I was not in my usual self…

"…………………………." I'm still silent, laying my head in the table…

"There you are!" Zell cried out as he opened the door.

"!" I opened my mouth but no words came out…

"My, my, my… Do we look lazy here?" he laughed.

"… Ahahahaha…" I forced a laugh…

"You're not in the mood today, are you? Something wrong?" he asked as he looked into my eyes.

_Is he worried about me?_

"**NO! NO! NOT AT ALL! SEE? I AM CHEERFUL AS USUAL! VERY HIGH IN SPIRITS, TOO!**" I forced a very big smile.

"Oh that's good then," Zell smiled back.

_I'm happy… How fortunate of me…_

"Ah, Selphie, the movie you said you wanted to watch? Isn't that showing already? Wanna go this week or so?"

_He remembered it…_

"**YEAH!**" I smiled with some flowery aura around me again…

_It's Zell… It's okay… That's [Zell Dincht] I'm dealing with…_

_He'll look out for me… forever…_

_Whatever Quistis may be thinking…_

_I can believe in him…_

* * *

- Classroom –

I was reading the "Movie for the Month" magazine, when Quistis noticed it…

"Movie?" she asked, and I was in haste to hide the magazine…

"Ah—"

_What should I say?????_

"You and Zell would go watch it, eh?" she sat down beside me.

"Not really… It isn't that…" I said as I closed the magazine.

_She'll say something again, I'm sure…_

"Hmmm… You really like those types of movie—"she seems bored, "I don't really like it, though. Not even interested a bit…"

She turned back, but she gave me this stern look…

* * *

- School Grounds –

"Selphie— _Ohayo_ (Good morning)" Quistis said as she yawned…

"Ah, Selphie, _ohayo_…"

"It's so annoying to have classes from the first hour, eh?" she yawned again, "Oh and by the way, can we share your notebook later? I forgot it at home…"

"Oh, sure—"

"Thanks! Great help…"

While we were walking towards our classroom, something fell from Quistis' pocket…

"Ah, Quistis, something fell…" I bended to get a hold of it.

"Oh, what?"

"——————————————— huh?" I saw this movie ticket which she said she wasn't interested in…

"What's this…" I handed the ticket to her, "Why do you have this ticket?... Weren't you saying that you weren't interested in this?"

"………………….." she gave me this cold look again, "Sorry, I couldn't say no… He forced me to… Zell forced me to……………….."

She gave me this cold look once more, and she stared at the ground… But my mind was full with doubt and confusion that no words could be said…

"Sorry…" Quistis mumbled again…

"………………………. Sorry? Why?..." I mumbled back.

_What does it mean…?_

_Two-timer?_

_Changed his mind about me…?_

_I ain't that mature to think that… there's no choice…_

_Why…._

_Zell…. Why?...._

* * *

- Wc Donald's –

Zell was cleaning the table… I was looking at him very grimly… When he noticed it… And looked at me…

"Hey, what are you looking at? Is there something at my face?" he smiled.

"………………………… I-it's nothing…" I forced a weak smile…

_I can't ask him…_

_I'm scared…_

_But I need to believe in him…_

_I want to believe in him…_

_But…_

"Oh yeah, have you heard from the manager that we're going to have some kind of party?"

"Eh!? Ah…. Y-Yeah…"

"He said we can bring anyone we want."

"Oh then there would be many of us…"

"Ah… why don't you bring a friend of yours? Who's that?... Oh yeah, Quistis?" he smiled, "Nowadays, she's coming here often, so the workers here, knows her by face."

"N-No… I-it's okay…"

_Why is that name coming out from your mouth?_

"Why not? Nothing's gonna go wrong with her around, will it?" Zell pleads.

_Why? She isn't related… She is nothing… She's nothing to you… Then… why…_

"The more people, the—" Zell said, but I interrupted, "I said NO!" I yelled.

_I don't want to hear!!_

"……………….." Zell fell silent, so did the customers.

I got so embarrassed that I unintentionally flee to the Staff Room…

"Selphie?!" Zell tried to stop me running.

"Hey!"  
"Just wait, okay?!"

"SELPHIE!" Zell finally yelled and grabbed my wrist, "I said wait, what's happening to you? Did something happen?"

I stopped, and fell silent…

"**I DON'T KNOW!**"

_What should I do? It's not my fault…_

_Is it?_

"You told me that WE will go… Didn't you… Then why… Then why did you invite Quistis…?" I started to weep, "Why is Quistis the one with the ticket?"

Now, I don't know what I'm saying, "Quistis is my friend!"

Zell fell silent and he seemed astonished, "…………..** HUH!? **Eh… W-Wait… Let me think… The pace was too fast…" Zell seemed to be very confused, so I gave him a minute.

But I cried more, "Hey! Really! I don't understand…" And Zell went to his bag, and searched something inside… And handed me something, "I planned to give the tickets today and bought yesterday…" He handed me the tickets.

"Huh… But, Quistis…" I stopped crying.

"… Then does that mean… Like… I wasn't trusted? I'm disappointed…" Zell stared at the floor.

"I-I'm… sorry…" I mumbled… and started to sob again…

_What should I do…_

_I know he's angry…_

"……………… Ugh! Enough already! I can't be calm enough to see someone I love crying in front of me, can I?" Zell patted my head, "I know… I just don't know what Quistis might have told you… But I know that you've been in a hard time… trying to solve the problem… It's you were talking so I know…"

"I'm sorry…"

_I'm the worst among the worst! _

_Easily hurt with what someone has to say…_

_And doesn't believe in the only person in my side…_

_How low of me…_

"Also, if I'm related or in between, let's not think alone…let's both talk about it…" Zell said as he hugged me tightly in his arms…

_How warm it was…_

_I can't believe I suspected him…_

_I should be strong and dependable…_

_Before I loose any other important things/people…_

_I should be strong! _

* * *

- School Corridor –

I was walking along the corridor when I met Quistis coincidentally and I stopped at the corner, "_Ohayo_ (Good morning) what happened? What the heck are you doing in the corner?" she smiled and walked again.

"Wait! I got this from Zell just yesterday" I said sternly as I raised the ticket.

Quistis was just silent, "Why? Why did you lie like this?! You were always beside me… We're friends… right? … Or did you start liking Zell?" I asked harshly, "If that's the case, just tell—" Quistis smirked.

"… What?" I stopped talking something was wrong, I thought.

"Why should I like him? That's your boyfriend."

"Then why!?"

Quistis glared, "I felt sick of you!" she yelled.

_————What…_

"Jealousy! Ain't I the worst? You were so fortunate and happy… And cheerful always… The fortune which I cannot attain… You had it, and I didn't! That's why I felt sick of you!" Quistis' face suddenly went dark, "My boyfriend… He's already married…"

"T-Then why were you with someone as low as—"

"**DON'T CALL HIM LOW!**" Quistis interrupted, "It's no use… I still like him… But… Even though I feel like that, when I'm with you, I feel that I should be pitied and dumb… And I didn't like that a bit…"

_She was troubled about this the whole time…?_

"Don't worry, I just went to Zell just a few times to eat lunch." She turned back.

"… Quistis… Why didn't you tell me anything? I could've helped you… Even just to listen—"

Quistis suddenly stopped walking, and glared at me, "**HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT?! I TRIED OKAY?! I TRIED!! BUT YOU NEVER LISTENED! YOU WE'RE ALWAYS THINKING ABOUT YOURSELF! NEVER DID YOU TURN YOUR EAR TO ME! WHAT A FRIEND! I'M DISGUSTED!**" Quistis started walking again.

_Yes… Quistis is right…_

_I was only thinking about myself…_

_I thought Quistis was unlike me and can do anything alone…_

_I was envious of her, because I thought she had everything I didn't have..._

_I imagined that only by myself…_

_I didn't even care what she had to say…_

_What I had in mind is that she could help me…_

_That's all_

_…I'm really the worst…_

_How could I…_

"Quistis!" I called her back .

_[We're friends… right…?] _

"I'm sorry" I said but she didn't bother listen to what I have to say.

_What kind of a [friend] am I talking about?_

* * *

- Classroom -

When I entered the classroom, the first person that entered my site was Quistis… I went beside her, like everyday and greeted her Hi, but she didn't even bother look at me…

I sat beside her, feeling guilty, when she handed me a used ticket, "That movie, me and my boyfriend, went to watch it yesterday. It made me sick! It was so boring, that I dumped my boyfriend…" she smiled, "Because you listened to me… Honestly, this relationship… I really wanted to quit it… I longed it for how many months… But I didn't want to be alone… I wanted someone to be with…That's why I wanted a reason… I wanted a reason which was so stupid…" she smiled again now, facing at me.

"_Gommen'ne _(I'm sorry)" I said feeling guilty of all the happenings.

"Huh? Why are you apologizing? I should be the one to apologize doing some stupid things. sigh I really envy you." She said as she looked up the ceiling with a smile on her face, "Very honest and simple, loved thoroughly by Zell. I really look up to you." She smiled again.

And we both laughed.

_I and Quistis are the same…_

_Friendship… It is like love…_

_Going up…_

_Going down…_

_Nothing is perfect…_

_I shouldn't give up on her easily…_

_At least she didn't give up on me…_

_Friendship can endure any hardships…_

_And the feeling to attain the most… we are all the same…_

* * *

_FINISH_


End file.
